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By
Dr David Delvin.
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Until
quite recent years, there was a sort of 'conspiracy' to pretend that sex
in the over-50's did not exist!
There were several reasons for this. One was sheer prudishness. Another
was the fact that younger people tended to find it incomprehensible that
anyone beyond the age of 50 could be making love. (In particular, young
adults often think that their parents couldn't possibly have sexual
feelings.) Another factor was the lack of medical research available.
Anyway, nowadays we know better. Research has shown that many mature
couples enjoy a healthy and vigorous sex life together. Not everyone does,
of course - because some older people suffer too much from ill health to
be bothered about sex. And others have never had much of a sex drive
during their lives, and are quite happy to forget about the entire
subject.
However, in the UK there are literally millions of retired people who
still have a thoroughly agreeable and fulfilling physical love-love. And
good luck to them!
PROBLEMS
But there are some common problems which occur in retired people -
problems which tend to affect their sex lives. Fortunately, these
difficulties can very often be dealt with.
My wife and I have been consulted by hundreds of older folk whose sex
lives had come to a halt. But very often, it has been possible to 'kick
start' matters again with a little commonsense advice and maybe some
medical treatment.
For instance, Vera (not her real name) was distraught about the fact that
these days, she always seemed to be 'far too tired' to make love with her
husband. Because of this, he was starting to look elsewhere ... But a
medical examination revealed that she was actually suffering from anaemia
(weakness of the blood), and that it was this that was making her too
exhausted for love-making. A course of pills from her GP soon gave her
back all that bedtime 'zing'.
So just let's just have a quick look at the difficulties which so often
affect men and women in the retirement age group.
MEN
In the over-50 age group, the one problem which so often affects men's sex
lives is 'erectile dysfunction' ('ED' or impotence). In
years gone by, doctors were very prone to tell patients: 'Oh, it's just
your age. What do you expect?'.
But this kind of advice was nonsense. Research now shows that even at the
age of 70, about 70% of men are still potent. And even those who aren't
can usually be helped by one of the various methods of treatment
available. These include:
Change of medication. It's now known that a huge number of pills
prescribed by doctors can make erection impossible. A change in tablets
often cures the problem!
Simple, commonsense counselling. This is very effective in the many
cases where the man's problem is actually due to factors like anxiety or
recent bereavement.
Viagra. This drug has really revolutionised the sex lives of many
over-50 couples. I have treated about 200 men with it, and most of them
have been delighted with its effect. BUT... Viagra does have
drawbacks and side-effects, and you must NOT go on it unless you've
had a medical check-up and careful advice as to how to use it.
Injections. These go directly into the penis, so they are not for
the faint-hearted!
Inside-the-penis pellets. These have helped many men with erection
difficulties.
Vacuum cylinders - again, useful for many older males.
Surgery. This usually involves inserting a specially designed
'splint' in order to make an erection possible. Again, not an undertaking
for the faint of heart!
WOMEN
Ladies too can have their problems with sex in the retirement years. Here
are the common ones:
LACK OF INTEREST. This is often caused by either poor physical
health, or by psychological difficulties, like depression or stress. A
check-up from your GP may reveal that you have some unsuspected physical
condition, such as an under active thyroid. Where the difficulty is mainly
emotional, counselling from a woman doctor is often very helpful in
getting everything back to normal. There's an organisation of doctors -
mainly female - who give this type of sympathetic therapy through Family
Planning Clinics and privately.
PAIN DEEP INSIDE. This usually indicates some gynaecological
problem, and it needs to be reported to your GP - and dealt with by a
gynecologist.
VAGINAL DRYNESS AND SORENESS. This is fantastically common over the
age of about 45, and it's generally just due to a lack of female hormones.
Although this problem has caused great distress for many women, it is easy
to treat with appropriate hormone medication. There will be more about
this subject in next month's article on THE MENOPAUSE.
But if you are suffering from this problem, don't hesitate
to go to your GP about it. In the meantime, you may well find it very
helpful to use one of the simple vaginal lubricants which are so widely on
sale these days. Popular brands include: K-Y Jelly, Senselle, Astro-Glide
and Wet.
Q1. TENDER TONGUE
Could you please
tell me why my tongue is tender round the edge during the day (especially
when I eat) - even though it is OK when I wake up in the morning?
A. Sorry, I can't! Not many people realise that the big experts in
tongue and mouth problems are the DENTISTS - not us doctors. So I think
you should go and have this checked out by your dental surgeon, right
away.
However, I think there is a very strong possibility that something
(probably dental) is catching on your tongue during the day. Typically,
that kind of thing gets better during the night while your mouth is
'having a rest'.
Q2. THYROID
What are the symptoms of an under-active thyroid, doctor?
A. Typical symptoms include:
* Tiredness and lethargy.
* Putting on weight, though eating very little.
* Feeling the cold a lot.
* Coarsening of the hair and skin.
* Thickening of the facial appearance.
* Lack of enthusiasm for anything - including sex (see main article).
Happily, treatment of this condition with thyroid hormone produces
dramatic and excellent results.
Q3. ARTHRITIS
Can you suggest a
suitable diet for Osteoarthritis sufferers?
A. Unfortunately, doctors have not really come up with a diet which has
been scientifically proven to help Osteoarthritis patients. A Slimming
diet is often very helpful - if you're overweight - but clearly that's not
what you're asking for.
Alternative practitioners tend to recommend diets which are LOW in red
meat, game, animal fat, alcohol and additives. This is certainly good
advice on general health grounds.
Q4. OSTEOARTHRITIS
OF THE HIP
I am active in sports,
including running, judo, kick-boxing, skipping and working out in the gym.
I have Osteoarthritis of the hip. Which sport should I DROP from the ones
I've mentioned? My doctor says I should just run on grass! I am 27.
A. Are you certain you have Osteoarthritis of the hip? This is
fantastically rare in a person of 27. Or is your age a misprint for 77?
Anyway, I reckon that you must be guided by your doctor. None of the
sports which you've listed strikes me as very good for people with hip
arthritis - apart from working out at the gym. I would agree with your doc
that if you're going to run, it should be on soft grass.
Cycling (either on an exercise bike or a real one) is generally regarded
as a good choice for hip sufferers, because it involves practically no
weight-bearing on the hip joint.
Q5. GOUT
I would like your
advice on how to get rid of recurrent gout in my big toe. I have visited
the doctor, and he has prescribed indomethacin capsules.
A. Indomethacin ('Indocid') is only a treatment for the acute attack. It
can't prevent attacks from happening.
If a person keeps on having bouts of gout, then it's usual to put them
PERMANENTLY on a pill which will keep the body's level of uric acid down -
and thus keep attacks away. The medications which are usually used for
this are allopurinol (trade name: Zyloric), probenecid (trade name:
Benemid), and sulfinpyrazone (trade name: Anturan).
Though not all doctors would agree with me, I think it's also worth
cutting down on foods which tend to produce uric acid in the body - such
as game and red meat. You should also keep any alcohol consumption to
moderate levels.
Q6. SPINAL STENOSIS
My wife suffers from
'spinal stenosis'. Is chiropractic treatment a possible cure?
A. 'Spinal stenosis' is narrowing of the bony tunnel through which the
spinal cord passes. If you think about what a tunnel made out of bone must
be like, you'll see that there's no way of widening it by manipulation.
Therefore, I'm afraid that a 'cure' by chiropractic treatment is simply
not possible. The only way in which this narrow tunnel could be enlarged
is by surgery. But such an operation is difficult, and not without risk.
However, in my opinion it's certainly possible that a good chiropractor
could help your wife's symptoms. Make sure you select one who's properly
qualified; in Britain they have the letters 'DC' after their names. Good
luck to your wife.
Q7. OSTEOPENIA
I'm a woman of 39. I
have my bone density done, and they found I have osteopenia. The doctor
recommended that I take calcium tablets twice daily, plus going in for
exercises like walking, swimming and gym work-outs.
However, I'm worried that I'll get osteoporosis.
A. Osteopenia is thinness of the bones. Osteoporosis is EXTREME thinness
of the bones; a lot of women (and some men) suffer from it, and it tends
to lead to fractures and loss of height.
But, your GP has got you to do everything that is right in preventing
osteoporosis, so you should continue to be guided by her! The only thing I
would add is that when you get to the menopause, you should very
definitely consider going on HRT - which helps to keep osteoporosis away.
Q9. LOSS OF BALANCE
I know this is a very
common problem. My mother suffers from loss of balance, together with
heavy feelings and numbness in the legs. The GP doesn't seem to have much
idea of what to do. My mum is very anxious about it.
A. Sorry to hear about this. Unfortunately, loss of balance is indeed a
very common symptom in older people - partly because the balance
mechanisms aren't as young as they used to be. Quite often, there is
little that can be done.
However, in your mother's case she has two additional symptoms - in her
legs. I don't know what the significance of these is, but it would be
worth asking her doctor whether he thinks she has any specific
neurological (nerve) disorder.
If there IS some suggestion of a neurological problem, then perhaps your
mum would like to consult a neurologist? Unfortunately, the waiting lists
in most of the UK are pretty long - unless you go privately. Good luck.
© 2000, 2001 Dr David Delvin/Retirement
Matters Ltd. All rights reserved.
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